When it comes to online dating, why do people lie on the Internet? I confess I do. But only white ones. Very white. So white they are practically invisible, but I do have one lie. Or, by association, maybe two. But that's it. Really. Just that. And I don't feel I misrepresent myself or my intentions. Honestly, I don't. But somehow, the past year, men reading about me assume my intentions are no longer social, and assume they're are plain old bad.

Men contact me, and upon finding out I write about frogs, become instantly defensive. It's a new wrinkle on this work I never expected. I think if I were a gossip columnist on a big TV show, or, perhaps, a major daily paper it might make a difference. Or if, maybe, I had written some big scandlaized tell-all bestseller. But I have my frog books. And while are wonderful, they are what they are. This huge reaction is a bit over the top for my pond. Not to mention the obvious. If a man I know does serves as "inspiration," it's only a part of a bigger piece of fiction with name changes, location changes... things that would make the man publicly unrecognizable. It's all SO obscure.

Yet, this fear of the men monopolizes my social life. I received an IM last week at 12:30 AM. On a "school night." And if that's not absurd to begin with, the man wrote:

"So is your social life now your BUSINESS for tax deductions?"

And I am the one with evil intentions? Is that a man who was hoping to date me or hate me?

Someone secure who has a good feeling about me won't be like that. It may take more time for him to emerge, but he'll be worth it. As for the rest, they are saving me time. Their colors come through quickly, and they are many shades of green.