Can men and women be friends?

It was the question in When Harry Met Sally, and the resounding answer from Billy Crystal's character was no. I was just turned down twice.

The first guy was a blind date I was not interested in pursuing romantically, but I could have been his friend. He not only said no, he told me he didn't have any.

"Why would I want to go on asexual dates with a beautiful woman?" he asked. But I was not offering him a weird dating relationship, I was offering friendship.

The next guy was someone I dated a bit - it didn't quite get off the ground, his choice. But now he won't be friends because he's attracted to me.

"But you don't want to date me," I said. And I would have. However, truth be told, the reason the friendship feels okay to me is because I didn't feel we were a great romantic fit. He agreed, hence his ambvilence to really get romantically involved. It was the friendship that made me feel open to exploring the romance, and for other reasons he nixed that. So I thought that made it easy for us to be friends! Well, perhaps at a future date, but not now. As they say... whatever!

But that brings us back to friendship between men and women. Is it realistic? There's often an attraction within it, and I think that's fun and just adds some spice. I like that, but it bothered these two men, and, for opposite reasons.

While I pose questions, I don't really have answers. But I think it's good to keep asking.